 When working with clients, we often explore and discuss together patterns of how we tend to show up in moments of distress. The most common patterns include ways that we either move toward or away from our partner. Example of this could include:
Moving toward: Asking questions Starting conversation Getting loud Talking fast Asking even more questions Wanting to talk it out Getting critical Moving away: Eyes glazing over Getting quiet Not responding at all No eye contact Leaving the room Distracting yourself with the phone/tv Mind going blank Although these reactions to distress look completely different, it is important to note that there is something very real happening for each person on an emotional level. We learn ways to handle distress through our early experiences and often bring these same strategies into our adult relationships. Consider these questions: What strategies did you learn? How did you learn them? Do they work well today in your relationships? Do they get in the way now and seem to cause more trouble in your relationships? Connecting with others is critical to our well-being. We are created to connect and, as human beings, long to be seen and understood. Take a minute to think about your strategies for protecting yourself and how they might impact your ability to connect with your most important people... and how they might impact others' ability to connect with you! If you aren't sure where to start, or you are aware of some strategies you use that seem to get in the way of connection and not sure how to do something different, we can help. You can find information about our providers HERE... we look forward to hearing from you!
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