When working with clients, we often explore and discuss together patterns of how we tend to show up in moments of distress. The most common patterns include ways that we either move toward or away from our partner. Example of this could include:

Moving toward:
Asking questions
Starting conversation
Getting loud
Talking fast
Asking even more questions
Wanting to talk it out
Getting critical

Moving away:
Eyes glazing over
Getting quiet
Not responding at all
No eye contact
Leaving the room
Distracting yourself with the phone/tv
Mind going blank

Although these reactions to distress look completely different, it is important to note that there is something very real happening for each person on an emotional level. We learn ways to handle distress through our early experiences and often bring these same strategies into our adult relationships. 

Consider these questions:
What strategies did you learn?
How did you learn them?
Do they work well today in your relationships?
Do they get in the way now and seem to cause more trouble in your relationships?

Connecting with others is critical to our well-being. We are created to connect and, as human beings, long to be seen and understood. Take a minute to think about your strategies for protecting yourself and how they might impact your ability to connect with your most important people... and how they might impact others' ability to connect with you!

If you aren't sure where to start, or you are aware of some strategies you use that seem to get in the way of connection and not sure how to do something different, we can help.

You can find information about our providers HERE... we look forward to hearing from you!

In certain seasons of life it can feel like we are faced with tremendous pain and hardship. What do you do when life doesn't look or feel the way you thought it would? What happens when you are navigating trauma and grief, or simply finding yourself tired of navigating the ongoing adversities of life? We can feel heavy and burdened, even distanced from God and others. It can feel like quite a dilemma for women who are loving and caring... and who are also hurting.

Our new fall group offering is now open for registration. This group will meet over three sessions via Zoom, so no worries about an evening commute... participate from the comfort of your home! Content for the group will be based on the book Building a Resilient Life: How Adversity Awakens Strength, Hope, and Meaning by Rebekah Lyons and facilitated by one of our wonderful GCA providers, Beth Jones. 

This group will start early October and being held online. There will be a cap on the number of registrants so Beth can facilitate safe and purposeful conversation with participants. This is not therapy, but a small group offering that will allow for education, sharing, and support, facilitated by a compassionate and trained therapist. In her work, Beth walks closely with many women who are hurting and feels passionate about helping them discover strength and hope through adversity.

We are excited to offer this new group and feel it is such an important topic - one that could be of benefit to most any woman. If you have any questions, or ready to register, contact Beth HERE. You can find more details about the group, including meeting dates and registration fee HERE.

Overfunctioner... that sounds pretty good, right? An overfunctioner gets things done, takes the lead, reads and meets needs of those around them, is considered strong and reliable. They are often seen as highly competent and effective, which gains them reward within workplace settings. Overfunctioners are often trustworthy, compassionate, and resourceful, which works well within the context of relationships.

As wonderful as these traits are, and as much as others may appreciate these things in us, they come at a cost when you are an overfunctioner. Being an overfunctioner suggests that you may be well-intended but lack healthy boundaries within yourself and with others. The cost of overfunctioning can be particularly high when we don't know how to be any different and we've been functioning like this for a long time, maybe even since we were children.

If you are an overfunctioner, you may already know what I mean when I refer to the cost of operating this way through life... emotional and physical fatigue, frustration, anxiety, anger, confusion, resentment, loneliness, feeling taken advantage of, despair, and even hopelessness.

Rather than wait until you feel physically ill or full of resentment, it is important to consider if your "doing" includes healthy boundaries, or if you may be overfunctioning. Here are 5 helpful indicators that you might be overfunctioning:

1) Constant fatigue

This may seem obvious but, often for an overfunctioner, they feel most connected to people when they are serving them in some way. It is not wrong to enjoy serving others, but if you find that most of your free time is spent sleeping as a result, that can be a cue that your body is sending you to slow down. Sleep hygiene is important to overall well-being so it is certainly not wrong to allow yourself to sleep for longer periods of time when needed. However, if you find that you are craving sleep and never quite feeling rested, it can be helpful to look at your patterns of engaging and see where you could set a reasonable boundary.

2) Withdrawing from others

Overfunctioners are known for helping, and often doing for others what they can (and should) be doing for themselves. As with the physical fatigue, you may find that you start pulling away from opportunities to connect with people and isolate more, turn down invitations and shy away from social gatherings. The idea of being with people can simply feel exhausting to an overfunctioner and be perceived as a chore, rather than something that you would typically have found enjoyable. Rather than feeling energized in the presence of others, you feel depleted and potentially burdened.

3) Feelings of anger

Although reading and meeting the needs of others is often done from a place of good intention, over time, it can start to chip away at our spirit, especially when it feels like efforts aren't being reciprocated. It is important to recognize that, as an overfunctioner, you might keep placing yourself in situations where you are needed, because you are good at meeting people's needs. You, too, are a person with needs! Overfunctioners can find themselves feeling angry with people they love, having a short fuse or being snappy with people they care about. Relationships and interactions can feel imbalanced, creating anger that others tend to not reciprocate and/or that they overlook you and your efforts.

4) Physical illness

Constant stress of overfunctioning takes a toll on our body. In as much as you may enjoy "doing" for people and taking care of them, it is important to take care of your own physical health. Overfunctioners can keep themselves so busy that they avoid their own health care needs, even to avoid setting appointments for routine check ups and ignoring physical cues that could indicate illness. Feelings of vulnerability can arise for overfunctioners just at the thought of receiving help or letting someone care for them. I have sat with many women who completely ignore their own physical pain, yet will make sure their loved ones are getting the medical care they need. To the overfunctioner... you are worth being cared for, too.

5) Loneliness

Interestingly, overfunctioners are often the first ones to the meeting and the last to leave. They are the ones who stay up late with family and friends in times of need and constantly find themselves serving and volunteering. Yet, when surrounded by people and even while engaging with them, overfunctioners can feel a tremendous sense of loneliness. There is pain in wondering what might happen if they stopped showing up with all of this "doing" energy, constantly moving toward people and situations to serve and do... would anyone check in with them? Would anyone even notice they weren't there?

Many overfunctioners have learned to be this way as a strategy for connecting with others. The trouble is that it works! When we are continually serving people and caring for others, we experience connection on some level and it seems to be effective. Maybe you learned that constantly reading and meeting the needs of a parent or caregiver growing up kept you safe. If you could keep them (parent or caregiver) happy and "okay," they wouldn't hurt you and your home could feel safe. You may have learned that overfunctioning was effective at keeping people close, developing friendships and romantic relationships based on your overfunctioning.

Many clients we see at Grace Counseling Associates could easily identify as overfunctioners... people who care deeply for others but, also, find it difficult to set healthy boundaries and who find it difficult to receive help and love from others. I believe that Jesus grieves for us in these places, where we feel alone and hurting, yet putting so much effort into doing for others in hopes that we, and those we care for, will be okay. This is an example of how vulnerabilities in our faith can come to our awareness. We can be strong believers, yet feel vulnerable when thinking about surrendering this way of being in the world for fear we won't be okay. Or fear that those we love will not be okay.

If any of what is described here resonates, please know that you are certainly not alone. It is such an internal dilemma to care so deeply, try so hard, yet feel lonely or angry. Therapists at Grace Counseling Associates have walked this walk and are passionate about helping others heal in these places. 

You can find our provider list HERE to read through our bios and learn more about us and our experience. If you find someone on our team who you think may be a good fit, we welcome you to reach out. Each provider has their own contact form so you can reach us directly.

We are excited to announce that registration is now open a new, 6-session, group workshop for high school girls, 9th through 12th grade, starting in June! 

High school is an amazing time for social connections, academic challenges, personal growth and more. In a world that is bombarding teen girls with messages and images of who they "should" be, it can also be a time of great confusion, overwhelm, and loneliness. This group is specifically designed to give high school girls (9th-12th grade) a place to discover, and step into, their God-given identity so they can walk in true confidence.

This 6-session group is based off of the book "Defined: Who God Says You Are" by #1 New York Times best-selling author team Stephen & Alex Kendrick. (Participants to do not need to purchase the book to participate)

Group Details:
Dates: June 20, June 27, July 11, July 18, July 25, August 1 (no meeting July 4)
​Time: 5:30pm - 7pm
Location: Zoom / Telehealth
Fee: $300
Group Lead: Beth Jones, MS, LPC/MHSP(t)

Summer is a perfect time for girls to connect, learn, and grow, so they can walk into the new school year with a more solid sense of self, greater courage, confidence, and optimism. 

This offering is not "group therapy," but a summer workshop that blends faith, education, and opportunities for sharing and connection, facilitated by a trained Christian therapist.

To learn more and to register, contact Beth Jones:

As we celebrate our first six months at Grace Counseling Associates, our clinicians would like to say, "Thank you." We have all been tremendously blessed with fantastic clients and a lot of word-of-mouth referrals, which are the best referrals! All of the clinicians at Grace Counseling Associates work diligently to provide wonderful care to our clients in a space that feels peaceful and calm the minute you walk through the door.

Join us for the 4-day EFT Externship in Knoxville August 23-26! The time to register is now and you can find more information here:

Yes, I want to register for the August EFT Externship!

We are excited to have Dr. Teri Murphy join us in Knoxville facilitate this ICEEFT approved 4-day EFT Externship!  Dr. Murphy is an ICEEFT Certified Trainer and passionate about helping clinicians learn about, and apply, the EFT model in their work. Dana Vince, LPC/MHSP, will be co-facilitating this upcoming Externship and is our local ICEEFT Certified Supervisor. This dynamic duo will, undoubtedly, bring passion and fun to learning the model of Emotionally Focused Therapy. If you have ever had an interest in learning the model, or are interested to learn how attachment theory can be effectively applied to your clinical work, you do not want to miss this event!

Are you a member of TNMFT or TLPCA? You can receive $100 discount on your enrollment! Use codes TNMFT100 or TLPCA100 at the time of registration to take advantage of the member discount. We look forward to seeing you at Externship!

Registration is officially open for the Fall 2023 EFT Externship in Knoxville taking place August 23-26! Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a powerful, attachment-based, model of counseling that is highly effective for couples, families and individuals. A model of therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is considered the gold-standard approach, particularly when working with couples. Rather than being simply educational in nature or teaching couples how to "fight fair," EFT actually helps couples experience long term shifts in their ways of connecting and bonding.

The goal of Grace Counseling Associates providers is to offer space to help individuals, couples and families find healing and connection. We are trained in evidence-based models of counseling, as well as coaching services, and passionate about helping good people live great lives.

We are not meant to live in a state of despair or confusion, yet many of us find ourselves there at times... likely more than once! It can be difficult to know when to reach out for assistance and, even when you feel ready to ask for help, it can be a great challenge to connect with a provider you feel you can trust with your most valued people and connections... your family, your marriage, your child(ren) and yourself. Grace Counseling Associate providers bring evidence-based clinical training and experience, as well as their heart, into session with clients. 

Providers at Grace Counseling Associates share a Christian worldview, as well as share perspectives about the interventions and techniques that lead to long-term, healing and change. Collectively, our desire is to offer space where people can bring their hurts and find compassion, clarity and hope. Where clients can experience what it is like to be held with compassion in a truth-based setting.

GCA providers have, and continually seek, advanced training in leading models and methods of counseling and coaching. We enjoy building relationships with our clients, so that they always have a place to return should they need to find us again in the future. Connecting with providers you trust, especially when it comes to such personal matters within our marriages and our homes, is paramount. Grace Counseling Associates providers keep this top of mind in our work and it shows in the referrals we receive from past and current clients, as well as colleagues. 

For information about our providers and the services they offer, please browse our provider listing for details. Each provider responds to their own inquiries; you will see an inquiry form at the bottom of each provider's page to fill out and submit if you would like to schedule an appointment or simply ask more about their services.

Learn an overview of each provider's services HERE

gracecounselingknoxville.com

Susan Stirewalt specializes in working with children and teens, as well as offering counseling support to parents and caregivers. Susan has the cleanest, most beautifully outfitted play therapy room you have ever seen! Our providers enjoy taking a look in her office every now and then to see what new items she has added to her office.

She comes to Grace Counseling Associates with advanced training in play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy and trauma informed interventions. Susan has a true passion for working with children and adolescents, feeling called to this work and making it known that her heart is focused on the well-being of children and families. She has compassion for families who are struggling to connect and find themselves trying to navigate life challenges together.

Susan enjoys working with children and teens to address concerns such as: stress, anxiety, perfectionism, mood regulation and trauma. She also provides counseling to parents who may find it challenging to connect with their children in an effective way or who may find themselves in need of sound guidance as they navigate a life event with their child(ren), such as relocation, loss of job, divorce, military deployment, etc. Susan has extensive experience working with trauma and mood regulation concerns in both children and adolescents. 

Susan is a graduate of the Townsend Institute of Leadership and Counseling at Concordia University. She brings years of experience, as a counselor and as a parent herself, to her work with clients. Susan is currently accepting clients and scheduling for early to mid April.

If you would like to read more about Susan and schedule an appointment for you, your child or your teenager, please check out her provider page HERE:

Susan Stirewalt, MA, LPC/MHSP(t), NCC - Counseling for Children, Teens and Families

We are so excited to serve Knoxville and surrounding areas of East Tennessee in a wonderful, new way! Grace Counseling Associates, PLLC will open for business and be ready to serve clients in our new office on March 6th. 

Grace is an association of independent providers specializing in coaching and counseling for anxiety, stress, trauma and more. We highly value our relationships with clients and are honored to work along side you and your loved ones to navigate emotional challenges in your lives and relationships.

Since each provider has unique training and areas of interest, we invite you to read through our providers pages to see how we may be able to help. Personalized care is at the forefront of our practice and we are passionate about our work.

If you feel one of our providers may be a good fit for you, please use the contact form on their page to inquire about services and schedule your first appointment. We understand how challenging it can be to reach out for assistance and do our best to make it as easy as possible! We look forward to the opportunity to work with you.

Thank you!
​Grace Counseling Associates